Never Want to Choose
by chrisevefan
Summary: Sami's forced to face her feelings for the men in her life when Brandon returns and shakes up her life with Lucas. Which man will she choose? LucasSamiBrandon triangle story line with twists and turns along the way.
1. Default Chapter

Chapter One  
  
Sami danced around her apartment humming a romantic tune to herself as it seemed that the world around her was finally falling into place at long last. Life had given her a less than fair share of ups and downs over the years, but on a night like tonight everything was beyond perfect. She continued to light the candles knowing that at any moment Lucas would be returning home and that they would ultimately lose themselves to this enchanted evening as tonight marked the six month anniversary of the day they'd finally revealed their hearts to one another at long last after what felt like a lifetime of denial with one another about how deeply they'd truly cared for one another.   
  
  
  
Even now as Sami reflected upon that moment in time when she'd tasted Lucas's kiss and felt his arms around her, her heart began to fill with love as she saw how the love of the right man could clearly turn her life around. She'd wanted for so long to believe that miracles could happen in her life, but just when she'd found herself damned to a life of loneliness, that's when Lucas came to her and she in turn revealed her heart to him finding something magical that had evaded her for so very long. Oh how wonderful it was to be in love with a man who truly loved her in return. It had always been a dream for Sami--a dream that she feared she'd never have come to life until Lucas had given that dream back to her and made it the most beautiful reality at long last.  
  
  
  
Now as she checked the apartment, making sure everything was in place, Sami felt smile tickle over her lips as she vowed to make tonight a night that Lucas would never forget. Will was away camping with his friends and with the theme of romance hanging in the air, she was certain that there would be no way that Lucas would dare resist her--not that he'd really try considering that she'd worn something extra special for him, but still she just wanted things to be perfect. Rushing over to the mirror before her, she checked her hair, taking in her reflection as the sheer black dress she was wearing spelled out seduction to a tee. With that extra sparkle behind her smile, she could clearly see the glow of a woman in love with a wonderful man--of a woman who'd had the world ahead of her as it was Lucas that had been the light at the end of a very long and seemingly never ending tunnel of misery for her and tonight it would be Lucas whom she would get lost within, making love endlessly until the morning light lingered in over their passion spent bodies embracing them with the promise of all the tomorrows that would follow them into forever.  
  
  
  
"Oh Lucas," Sami couldn't help but smile blowing a kiss at her reflection as her grin expanded, "you'd better appreciate all the effort I've put into making tonight spectacular for you."  
  
  
She couldn't help but laugh as she finished the words as she was certain that Lucas would certainly appreciate all her hard work and loving care, but still, she needed to do something to get through the butterflies dancing around in her stomach as her heart flooded with anticipation for the night at hand. Tonight she was going to be with Lucas Roberts celebrating their six months of understanding and awakenings and life couldn't be more perfect. As that thought carried over her, she felt herself bursting at the seams, ready to lose herself to the passion and promise of their time together when the doorbell rang and she nearly squealed with anticipation.  
  
  
  
"Ready or not Lucas, here I come," she stated boldly taking one last look at her reflection before she headed to the door. She stopped momentarily placing her hand over her abdomen as she tried to quell the feeling that had overtaken her as she found herself nervous despite all that they'd shared with one another. It seemed that she'd never be able to get over the giddiness that he brought out in her, but then again she didn't want to bother with trying to rid herself of it either, she decided as she opened the door prepared to make tonight's fantasy a reality.  
  
  
  
"What took you so long handsome," she questioned in a low, sultry tone leaning up against the doorframe as she pursed her lips batting her eyelashes at the man before her ready to lay all her charms upon him, but as a silence carried over her, she felt her jaw drop as the man on the other side was the last person she'd ever anticipating seeing again in this lifetime.  
  
  
  
"Samantha," he spoke her name with the same tenderness that had haunted her for so very long and in that instant Sami realized that she'd just been delivered the most shocking blow of her life as she could barely get a word out.  
  
  
  
"Brandon," she gasped realizing that destiny had thrown her a curve that she never imagined would be possible ever again. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two  
  
"Brandon wh-what are you doing here," Sami questioned far too stunned to think this moment to be real as she blinked back at him half expecting him to vanish into thin air before her. She stood up straighter wondering if happiness had brought her to this delirium, but as she tried to will away the image before her, she found it all the more real as his eyes cascaded over her appreciatively.  
  
  
  
"Is this a bad time," he questioned, his eyes peering into her apartment with obvious curiosity as she opened the door wider to allow him inside despite the surprise that carried over her.  
  
  
  
"No, not really," she blurted out before thinking watching him walk back into her apartment and into her life after so very long when she'd thought that she'd never be able to experience something like this again.  
  
  
  
"It sure looks like you were busy," Brandon noted spinning around to face her once again, "were you expecting company?"  
  
  
"No, well yes, but no…but…yes, I mean…" she stammered at a loss feeling her stomach now doing flip flops as her tongue was clearly tied in knots, "I mean…I guess what I'm saying is, Brandon what are you doing here?"  
  
  
"I was in Salem, so I thought," he started with a simple shrug of his shoulders.  
  
  
"Yes I realize that, but why?" she questioned interrupting him as her pulse raced in her chest furiously, "Why are you in Salem?"  
  
  
"I came to see you," he admitted honestly as her eyes widened in surprise.  
  
  
  
"Come again," she blinked back at him, "what did you just say?"  
  
  
"I said that I came to town to see you Samantha," he stepped in towards her as his dark eyes penetrated her in such a way that Sami had forced herself to forget after he'd left town and walked out of her life forever.  
  
  
  
"But why…" she questioned at a complete loss as she found herself moving in closer to him, "Why come here after what you said about not wanting to ever see me again? After the way in which you wouldn't let me contact you…"  
  
  
"I'm sorry that I did that as it was cruel and callous of me to treat you that way," he sighed poignantly shaking his head at the memory, "but at the time I felt so betrayed and…"  
  
  
"I never meant to hurt you Brandon. I was just so desperate and…"  
  
  
"Feeling trapped," he added with a knowing expression, "I realize that now Samantha and I should've taken that into consideration with the way that I'd been treating you during that time frame. I became an inconsiderate jerk who took for granted the special lady in his life and in turn I brought all of that on by allowing you to feel threatened…"  
  
  
"Even so, I shouldn't have done what I did," she began again hating the sins of the past as they'd haunted her for so very long, "I should've just been open with you about my fears and expressed just how much I…"  
  
  
"Samantha, I was in the wrong. I'm the one who caused you to have those fears and I made so many stupid, foolish choices that ultimately destroyed our relationship. While I know I placed the blame on you when I left town, that's because deep down I knew how very wrong I was and I was too much of a stubborn jerk to face up to the fact that I screwed up," he continued painfully, "I'm what destroyed us as I helped turn you into something you swore you never wanted to be."  
  
  
"Brandon no. You can't blame yourself for my actions as I was the one who jumped the gun and went to extremes…" she started remorsefully.  
  
  
  
"No, Samantha I was wrong and for that, I need to apologize as you deserved so much more from me. You deserved better and now…" he trailed off extending his hand out towards her before dropping it down at his side as a sigh escaped from his lips, "God, you look incredible."  
  
  
"Thank you," she felt a blush tickling in over her cheeks, "You don't look so bad yourself Brandon."  
  
  
"Well, truth be told I've been a complete mess since I left Salem--at least for most of the time I've been away," he answered honestly as he spoke to her with a heartfelt emotion he'd buried long ago, "as I've been a wreck without you in my life."  
  
  
"Oh Brandon," she began to reach for him, stopping herself short as she cleared her throat once again straining to remain focused as she brushed past him, "so, what really brings you back to Salem again?"  
  
  
  
"I needed to speak with you as you and I have some unfinished business between us that we can't avoid any longer," he began taking in a slow, nervous breath, "as I think it's time that we…"  
  
  
"Oh beautiful," Lucas's voice broke through the moment as Brandon spun around to see Lucas standing in the now open doorway with a bouquet of red roses before him, nearly covering his face completely as he entered the apartment, "I'm home and you won't believe the things I have in mind for you tonight."  
  
  
"Lucas," Sami gasped his name finding herself paralyzed in the moment as Lucas lowered the flowers just enough to reveal the bright grin that spread over his features, but almost as soon as it expanded, it shriveled when he saw Brandon standing before him.  
  
  
  
"Brandon," Lucas frowned in response, "what are you doing here?"  
  
  
"He just came back to Salem," Sami offered up suddenly finding her voice as she stepped up between both men.  
  
  
  
"Really," Lucas questioned wearily, "when?"  
  
  
"Tonight," Brandon answered clearing his throat once again as he felt an awkwardness in the moment, "as I came to speak with Samantha."  
  
  
"You did, did you," Lucas stood taller as something that resembled jealousy sparked behind his eyes, "what about?"  
  
  
"We were just getting to that when you came in," Sami explained cracking her knuckles nervously as she shifted on her feet. She looked to Brandon with questioning eyes as she took in a slow breath wondering what had brought her old lover back to her doorstep tonight of all nights, "So what was it you had to speak with me about?"  
  
  
"Actually I," Brandon started biting on his lower lip before he looked to Lucas again, "I am interrupting, aren't I?"  
  
  
"No, not at all as Lucas and I were…" Sami started desperately needing to hear what Brandon had to say.  
  
  
  
"About to share a romantic evening at home with one another," Lucas finished stepping up towards her as he handed her the bouquet, "as there's no point in hiding what we're doing to Brandon as we're in the company of old friends here, aren't we?"  
  
  
"Well yes, but…" Sami's blue eyes drifted back to Brandon as she could clearly see the pain behind his eyes.  
  
  
  
"So what was it you came to talk to Sami about, Brand-o," Lucas questioned again with obvious curiosity.  
  
  
  
"I came here to tell her…" Brandon paused shaking his head, "maybe this can wait as you two seem to have a busy night ahead of you and I don't want to intrude."  
  
  
"I'm sure whatever you have to say won't take too long and we can get back to our plans," Lucas replied kissing Sami's cheek gently, "Isn't that right beautiful?"  
  
  
Sami remained silent for a long moment before finally nodding, "Of course. I don't mind taking the time to hear what you came all this way to tell me Brandon."  
  
  
"Well, in that case," he hesitated once again, "I came here tonight to talk about the divorce papers."  
  
  
"Divorce papers," Sami's eyes widened in surprise as her jaw dropped.  
  
  
  
"Yeah," Brandon nodded motioning towards Lucas, "as I can see you've moved on with your life, so maybe it's time that you and I started fresh and got back to where we should be in our lives."  
  
  
"I think that's an incredible idea," Lucas agreed enthusiastically, "as Sami was going to send you back those annulment papers, but they kind of got lost in the shuffle with all the things that have been happening around here. Come to think of it, didn't we come across them not so long ago Sami?"  
  
  
"I lost them," Sami blurted out feeling another sense of loss filling her up inside altogether different than the one she was speaking of as she realized that at this moment it was her husband standing before her--that even after all this time and moving forward, she was still Brandon's wife. That left a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach as she took in another slow breath.  
  
  
  
"Well, I'm sure we can find them if we search hard enough," Lucas piped in breaking through her thoughts, "and then you two can work on putting all of that craziness behind you."  
  
  
"Actually, you don't need to bother with finding them," Brant suggested once again, "as I've got a copy with me back at my hotel. I was planning on spending some time around town a little bit as Nikki and I were going to catch up with one another."  
  
  
"Oh yeah, I forgot about you and Nicole being related," Lucas chuckled as if he was talking to an old friend who'd stopped in to talk shop with him, "How's she doing these days?"  
  
  
"I suppose she's surviving," Brandon answered emotionlessly as his eyes were drawn to Sami once again.  
  
  
  
"Aren't we all," Lucas added stepping in towards him, "but hey now that we got all of that settled we can finally move forward with our lives and not look back. You can get back to whatever it is you've been keeping up with and Sami and I, well this is a huge breath of relief for us as once the technicalities behind the divorce are over, it opens up a new door for us."  
  
  
"I'm sure it does," Brandon nodded once again, "and I'm sure Will's very happy about that."  
  
  
"He's beyond ecstatic," Lucas added in Sami's silence, "and hey while you're in town, you should come back and pay him a visit as I'm sure he'd like to see you again--you know to see how things have been going."  
  
  
"Yeah sure," Brandon decided finally turning his attention away from Sami, "I'll be sure to say hello when I bring back the papers for Samantha…"  
  
  
"Well actually you could probably send them to her Uncle Mickey, right Sami?" Lucas suggested with an eager expression, "as I'm sure he can deal with whatever they have to say and then she can sign them and you'll be on your way."  
  
  
"If that's what Samantha would prefer," Brandon offered up glancing over at her once again.  
  
  
  
"No," she began quickly--almost too quickly as Lucas offered up a surprise expression, "I mean that won't be necessary. I'm sure that whatever they have to say, it'll be just fine. I can just sign them and then we can put this behind us as that's really what would be best."  
  
  
"Absolutely," Brandon agreed halfheartedly, "as I've always wanted what was best for you Samantha."  
  
  
"Well she has it now," Lucas promised him stepping over to the door and opening it up for Brandon to exit, "So we'll be seeing you around pal."  
  
  
"Yeah sure," Brandon replied with a half smile turning away from Sami before he finding himself stealing one last look at her, "You're a lucky man, Lucas."  
  
  
"Don't I know it," Lucas beamed with enthusiasm watching as Brandon left the apartment and Sami sank down upon the back of the couch too stunned to say much of anything. Lucas locked the door behind him gauging himself for Sami's expression as a nervous breath overtook him. He rubbed his palms together gently as he spoke up once again in a tentative voice, "So, how ironic is that with him showing up on our anniversary and all? I mean who would've thought that guy would've come into town like that?"  
  
  
"Who knew," Sami forced a smile as she tried to focus on all the plans she'd made for her romantic evening with Lucas.  
  
  
  
"I guess fate was just dealing us another hand of luck there," Lucas suggested stepping in towards her and pulling her up off of the couch and into his arms, "as it seems that we're finally going to be able to work on making things official with one another once your marriage is dissolve and then," he touched her cheek gently sliding his fingers into her golden tresses, "well then nothing is going to stand in our way of the happily ever after we were meant for."  
  
  
"No it's not, is it," Sami forced another smile as he pulled her into an embrace and she held him tightly wondering if things were really going to be as easy as Lucas wanted them to be as in having Brandon return to Salem it opened up a whole new can of worms that she was almost afraid she wouldn't be able to put a lid back on and as she clung to Lucas she feared for that part of her that realized she may never want to. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three  
  
Sami made her way through Salem Place pondering the recent turn of events that had come her way after Brandon's recent return to town. While she hadn't been quick to seek him out, his messages on her answering machine had left her with a feeling of finality and sadness as she realized that they were really, truly going to be over at long last. Somehow that in itself didn't seem real, but then again her marriage had ceased to feel like a reality for so very long after he'd left her, yet in seeing him once again, well it had sparked something inside of her that she feared she wouldn't be able to shut off.   
  
  
  
Even now she could still picture the weary expression on Lucas's face when she'd explained she needed time on her own to get a few errands run. Lucas had insisted on joining her, but she needed space and time to think things through. Certainly what she had going with Lucas was something extraordinary and truly they'd bonded in so many ways that she'd never experienced with any other person before and yet, there was a certain sense of something that had kept her focused upon Brandon's return. It almost didn't seem fair as she thought to how Lucas had worked to win her over once Brandon had left, yet even now as she pondered these thoughts she thought to her foolishness as she realized that Brandon wasn't coming home to stay. He wasn't trying to win her over, but more so he was pushing for the divorce that she'd refused to give him so very long ago in a moment of stubbornness. That in itself should be reason enough for her not to think about what might've been with Brandon as in ending it, well it certainly cleared the way for her future with Lucas and she was certain that was truly what she needed…well, almost certain at least.  
  
  
  
"Sami, Sami, what are you doing to yourself," she frowned thinking about how the path of self destruction had taken her down a dark road she never vowed to return to again after Lucas had opened the door to romance and happily ever after. All the scheming and the self-loathing left her when she'd found her heart in the arms of a man who'd accepted her as she was--knowing all her faults and understanding her unlike any other. Certainly Lucas Roberts was the man she was meant to be with, and yet, she still found herself drifting away to that time and place when she'd schemed and plotted to capture the heart of another.  
  
  
  
"Samantha," Brandon's voice broke through her thoughts as she turned her attention to the pathway in front of her finding him standing near one of the windows on this autumn afternoon, "I wasn't expecting to run into you today."  
  
  
"Oh well, I had shopping to do," she replied with a half smile holding up the bags in her arms, "you know it is a busy, busy time of year."  
  
  
"You aren't kidding," Brandon agreed stepping towards her as he reached for one of her bags, "Here, let me help you."  
  
  
"Oh I don't really think that's necessary as," she started as he lifted the bag from her arm carrying it effortlessly as he smiled at her.  
  
  
  
"It's truly no problem," he confessed with a nod, "as I must confess I'm glad that I ran into you just now. Do you have a minute?"  
  
  
"Actually, I was just about to…" she started feeling her throat go dry as her pulse quickened at the familiar scent of his cologne, "Why? What do you have in mind?"  
  
  
"Well, I was calling you all week and you hadn't returned any of my calls so," Brandon began to explain before shaking the thought, "Tell you what, how about we start this over again? Say over coffee?"  
  
  
"Coffee," she repeated with a gulp realizing that never before had such a word sounded so very tempting and inappropriate as it did in this moment in time that Brandon Walker stood before her as real as the sun shining overhead with his sexy, subtle invitation to spend time together.  
  
  
  
"You still like coffee, don't you," Brandon arched a curious brow, "Maybe a couple cappuccinos?"  
  
  
  
"Cappuccinos sound wonderful," she agreed with a nod forcing a nervous smile as he lead her along through the shops towards the coffee shop on the corner.  
  
  
  
"Great," he replied casting a glance in her direction every now and then, "so I suppose that you've had a busy week…"  
  
  
"Well you could say that," Sami nodded in response watching as he opened the door to the coffee shop allowing her access before following her inside. They discreetly slid into one of the booths in the corner of the small trendy spot before he set her bags down and rose up to order their drinks. She almost protested or suggested that she join him in placing the order, but instead she found herself at a loss as she watched him walking away from her, her eyes leisurely traveling over the muscled expanse of his body.  
  
  
  
Hmm, Sami noted to herself unable to keep her eyes from dwindling towards the most inappropriate places as she noticed that the other women in the place had also taken note of Brandon's physique. Then again, what wasn't to love about a man who'd taken such incredible care of himself considering that well, Brandon did appear to be leaner and more chiseled than he'd been the last time she'd seen him. Even now as her mind thought back to his bronzed, glistening body in the heat of the moment wrapped up around her in the throes of passion, a flush rose over her features as she pressed her hand to her cheek feeling a hot fire burning beneath.  
  
  
  
"Here we are," Brandon announced returning to the table and offering her the drink he'd just picked up, "A cappuccino with a sprinkle of chocolate just like you like it."  
  
  
"You remembered," she couldn't help but feel touched by his gesture as a smile expanded over her features.  
  
  
  
"How could I forget," he questioned leaning in over the table as his smile seemed to touch the bottom of her heart causing her to melt as she sat across from him. She feared for the moment he dared to reach out to her as she was certain she'd slide off of the seat onto the floor should he dare initiate any kind of connection, but as sure as she'd thought he was about to take that bold move to unite them, he seemed ready to put more of a distance between them as he sat up straighter in his side of the booth, "So, Samantha, tell me something. Why do I get the distinct vibe that you've been avoiding me lately?"  
  
  
"Avoiding you," she repeated with a tiny gulp reaching for her cappuccino and taking a sip of the steaming liquid in between breaths, "why would you say something like that?"  
  
  
"Because each time I've tried to reach you, you've ducked out of a return phone call," Brandon confessed with a sigh, "I was half wondering if you'd changed your mind about the papers…"  
  
  
"You mean about the divorce?" her eyes widened in surprise, "Why, have you?"  
  
  
"Well I…" he started stammering a bit as he took in a slow breath, "well what I meant was I was beginning to wonder if you'd just as soon had me go to your Uncle Mickey instead of us doing this face to face…"  
  
  
"Oh," her disappointment flooded over her upon his words as she slumped over in her seat, "well, no that's not what this was about as I had this thing…you know Will had this school thing and Lucas…"  
  
  
"Ah yes Lucas," Brandon nodded, "how could I forget about him? How is Lucas these days?"  
  
  
"Lucas is, well, he's Lucas," she blurted out like a moron watching the expression that crossed over his features.  
  
  
  
"Well I suppose that's a good thing," Brandon paused with obvious hesitance, "though you know I must say I was surprised to find you two the other night like…"  
  
  
"Like what?" she questioned feeling an awkwardness behind his pause.  
  
  
  
"Well, like that," he admitted shamefully as he played with the mug before him, "I mean it's not any of my business, but…"  
  
  
"You're right," she nodded accordingly, "It's not your business."  
  
  
"I realize that, but still I had to think about all those times when I'd tried encouraging you to give Lucas a chance for Will's sake," he offered up a sad smile, "I guess I was onto something more than I ever imagined I could be, huh?"  
  
  
"Lucas has been here for me through some really horrible times. He was there when my father was murdered and when I lost almost everyone that meant anything to me," Sami confessed openly thinking to the year of horrors that they'd put behind them, "He really helped me break free from those chains I kept around me and now, well he's just…"  
  
  
"A lucky man," Brandon interrupted leaving it at that as a sadness flashed behind his eyes, "although I must confess that when he showed up on our wedding day prepared to launch everything at me about you, I guess, well I just never thought that you two would wind up together like this, but then again I suppose it shows you how the world works in strange ways."  
  
  
"To say the least," she nodded unable to think of anything more to say as she fidgeted with the handle on the mug, "but enough about me, how are you doing? How have you been?"  
  
  
"I've been busy," Brandon admitted making polite conversation, "When I left Salem I had a lot of soul searching to do and well, I guess you could say that changes a man."  
  
  
"Do you like the changes that's come with that soul searching?" she inquired unable to keep her curiosity from showing.  
  
  
  
"In some ways I think it's humbled me, but in a lot of other ways I found myself filled with a great many regrets," Brandon confessed with a sad expression, "as in my taking off I missed out on some very important things in my life."  
  
  
"Such as?"  
  
  
  
"Such as when my father was murdered I was overseas and my mother didn't tell me until after the funeral," Brandon explained sadly guilt tugging upon him, "Abe and I were on good terms when I left, but well, I never had that chance to say good-bye. I never had that opportunity to get to know the things about him that I'd missed on over the years growing up and in some ways, well I guess I'll never know the great man that I wasted all too much time hating."  
  
  
"Your father was a good man," Sami offered up tenderly as she placed her hand over his, "as he was wonderful to me growing up, but I didn't appreciate him nearly as much as I should've."  
  
  
"I'm the one guilty of that crime as I made my father's life so much harder than it should've been all because I was too much of a jerk to just face my fears and open my heart to the possibilities of a relationship with him," Brandon sighed heavily, "and now, well now it just doesn't feel right saying everything I couldn't say to a grave."  
  
  
"Believe me I know how that feels," Sami admitted tearfully as she thought to the pain she'd endured in losing her father, "My father married Kate around the time of his death and I was furious. I was so hurt and heartbroken by his betrayal that I'd said and did some horrible, horrible things to him--things that I can never take back now that he's gone as I was too wrapped up in what I was feeling to even consider what his happiness was."  
  
  
"Even so, I know Roman loved you Samantha. You were always the most important thing in his life," Brandon squeezed her hand in his, "You were his princess and regardless of how things were, he loves you very much."  
  
  
"I know," she felt a tear slip down her cheek as she choked up on emotion, "I really believe that, but it's just so hard."  
  
  
"I know Samantha," he reached out across the table wiping the tear from her cheek, "and they say in time all wounds shall heal."  
  
  
"I don't really believe that line," she admitted choked up on emotion.  
  
  
  
"Neither do I, but I guess I was kind of hoping that maybe together we could live in a good, solid state of denial as I'm sure our fathers would prefer that to the misery and regret that clearly is eating away at the both of us," Brandon explained reaching for a napkin and handing it to her as her tears continued. Feeling a pang of guilt touch over him, he rose from his seat opting to slide into the booth beside her as his arm curled around her shoulders, "I'm so sorry for bringing this up Samantha."  
  
  
"No, it's not your fault," she insisted shaking her head as she sank into his chest, "as I knew that this was always going to be difficult for me. I keep pretending that I'm okay with it, but I'm really not as it just feels so wrong…"  
  
  
"I know it does," Brandon touched her cheek lifting her chin so that their eyes connected, "and I wish that things had turned out differently."  
  
  
"So do I," she whispered in a tiny breath as her gaze dropped down to his lips, to his ever so kissable, tender, sensual lips and she thought to the times that she'd lost herself in them over and over again. As if he could sense what she was thinking, he seemed to inch in towards her bridging the distance between them as she closed her eyes anticipating one last union between them, but before she could truly lose herself in the moment a sound came up in a roar as she found herself staring up at a slender, brunette woman with wide, doe eyes.  
  
  
  
"There you are," she grinned at Brandon before placing her hand on her hip impatiently, "I was almost afraid I lost you."  
  
  
"Kimberly," Brandon began rising to his feet as Sami eyed this new arrival with questioning eyes, "Kim, I'd like you to meet my wife…Samantha…"  
  
  
"Ah, so you're the infamous Samantha," Kimberly smiled at her flashing her a bright, white grin as she offered her hand out to Sami, "I've heard a lot about you over the last year."  
  
  
"You have," Sami raised a skeptic brow already disliking this beautiful woman that stood possessively at Brandon's side.  
  
  
  
"That's right," Kimberly nodded curling her arm in around Brandon's waist as he seemed to stiffen, "Brandon has been keeping me well informed on your history and more so on the details of this divorce you're going through. I must say I can't imagine ever having the strength to let Brandon go, but your loss has been my gain and for that I feel I should thank you…"  
  
  
"No thanks are necessary," Sami replied her heart dropping as she watched the woman tangle herself around Brandon.  
  
  
  
"You know Kim, Samantha and I were just in the middle of…" Brandon started uneasily as Sami jolted to her feet needing to get out of the situation as soon as possible.  
  
  
  
"Actually, I really need to run because I'm late for…" Sami found herself at a loss as she could almost feel her tears threatening to overtake her once again, "Well, I just need to leave…"  
  
  
"Samantha," Brandon called out to her watching as she fled from the coffee shop.  
  
  
  
"What did I say?" Kimberly questioned as Brandon took a step away from her watching his wife retreat out into the afternoon leaving their conversation behind as his heart sank with a heavy sense of loss.  
  
  
  
"Nothing Kim," Brandon sighed sinking back down into the booth as he wondered if he'd ever find the strength to do what he'd truly come back to Salem to do as in seeing Samantha all over again, it changed everything for him.  
  
*********************  
  
Sami couldn't think straight, couldn't pay attention to the traffic lights and most certainly couldn't focus on anything, but the way that woman was pawing at Brandon. What right did she have to be doing such a thing in front of her and more so why had Brandon let her touch him? He was still her husband and as long as she was Mrs. Brandon Walker, Sami wasn't going to tolerate that kind of shameless display, although the sad fact remained that she wasn't going to be Mrs. Walker much often because as soon as she signed the papers, it would be over. Her past with Brandon would be just that and their ties would be severed forever. She knew that's what they agreed upon and while her head was certain that was how it should end, her heart couldn't help but hurt as she wanted so much more--more than she'd ever dreamt of as clearly she was torn.  
  
  
  
With that thought fresh in her mind, Sami headed back to her apartment needing some time away from the rest of the world to clear her thoughts as it seemed that things were only growing exponentially where the complications were concerned. She needed to shut the world out--to close herself off from whatever had been haunting her and more so she needed to get her act together before she lost everything she'd worked so hard to achieve in her life. She had to stop dwelling on what might've been and focus on the future--the one that she had with Lucas.  
  
  
  
As that thought carried her into the apartment, Sami vowed to banish every and all thoughts of Brandon as today was a day that would put her one step closer to her new life. She didn't need to resort back to the past or what she might've once felt for him. This was about now and Lucas was her now and forever…at least that's what she'd convinced herself over the last few months.  
  
  
  
Closing the door behind her as she heard the faint sound of jazz music playing in the background. Opening her eyes she found herself surrounded by flowers and streamers and balloons which made her question whether or not she'd stepped into the right place, but before she could take the time to walk out of her apartment and walk back in again, Lucas emerged from the bedroom clad in a suit and tie flashing her a sexy smile as her heart stirred up with something wonderful at the very sight of him.  
  
  
  
"I was hoping you'd be home soon," Lucas confessed extending the single red rose he'd been holding out towards her before he leaned in to kiss her tenderly, "as I've missed you."  
  
  
"Lucas, what's going on," Sami questioned in confusion, "I thought that you'd be gone for the day and…"  
  
  
"I needed to take care of a few things, but now, well now I think I've got all the bases covered," he reached for her hand lifting it to his lips as a cryptic smile continued to play over his features.  
  
  
  
"What are you up to," Sami questioned unable to curb the curiosity that was brewing behind her blue eyes.  
  
  
  
"Well it's quite simple you see," he lead her through the apartment, "as I've had a lot on my mind over the last week so tonight Will is spending the night with Chris and you and I are going to have a night to remember starting with this," he urged her to sit on the sofa before he got down on one knee before her withdrawing the ring box from his hand as his eyes fixed upon her, "Sami, I know that we really haven't set any definitions on what it is that we have with one another, but I'd like to change that starting now," he opened up the box to reveal a diamond ring, "Samantha Jean Brady, what I'm trying to say is will you do the honors and be my wife…"  
  
  
"Lucas I," Sami's jaw dropped as her heart filled with emotion and a lump formed in her throat. Her eyes clouded over with tears as she fought to find the right words to answer Lucas after his heartfelt proposal, but now as all of her dreams of happily ever after were coming true right before her eyes, she shook her head unable to contain the tears that fell from her face, "Lucas I can't."  
  
  
"What," he blinked back at her in confusion watching as she stepped back moving away from him, "but Sami I thought…"  
  
  
"I just can't deal with this right now. I'm…I'm sorry," she blurted out running into her bedroom and closing the door behind her as she broke down in tears realizing that in less than twenty four hours she'd managed to take the best thing in her life and turn it upside down as she tried to rationalize why she'd say something like that to Lucas when he clearly loved her and she loved him, but as her tears overcame her, all she could do was lose herself to the moment as she found herself grieving for something she couldn't quite put a name on in a moment like this. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four  
  
Sami's tears continued for what felt like forever after she'd run out on Lucas and his proposal. Now as she lay in her bed stewing over the confusion that carried on over her in the moment when logically speaking she didn't have a thing to worry about. Brandon had come to town to get a divorce, while Lucas had wanted to become husband and wife. It didn't get more clear cut than that, yet when she thought back to the encounter she'd had with Brandon earlier in the day, she found her heart tied in knots at the thought of him having moved on with someone else--of him loving another woman after what they'd had together.  
  
  
  
"I mean really," she thought to herself, "who the hell is Kimberly and what's so damned special about her?" she hugged her pillow to her chest as her tears continued, "She couldn't possibly give Brandon what I could've as she doesn't know how to love him like I…" she stopped herself mid-thought burying her head once again as the faint sound of tapping on her door only fell into the background before Lucas entered the room tentatively popping his head inside.  
  
  
  
"Can I come in," Lucas questioned gently watching as her tears consumed her.  
  
  
  
"I don't think now is a good time Lucas," Sami replied turning to her face, keeping her back away from him as she began to wipe at her tears, "as you really don't want to see me right now. Trust me on that."  
  
  
"That's where you're wrong," Lucas continued stepping into the room despite her protests as he gently closed the door behind him. He watched her for a moment longer seeing how she was struggling to hide her emotions from him and as a sigh fell from his lips, he moved over to the bed, taking a seat on the edge as he watched her lost in her silent misery, "Sami, please talk to me."  
  
  
"Lucas, I'm just really not…" she started feeling his hand brush upon her shoulder before he nudged her chin slightly urging her to face him despite her tears.  
  
  
  
"Sami, don't shut me out," Lucas pleaded with her reaching out to wipe at her face, "as that's the last thing I wanted for us and in proposing tonight, I meant it as something to bring us closer, not to tear us further apart…"  
  
  
"Lucas, it's not that," she started finding herself at a loss as his eyes continued to gaze into hers, "I mean I'm just…well," she paused once again, "this isn't about your proposal. This is about me and my stupid, ignorant, self-destructive side that keeps coming back to haunt me…"  
  
  
"Sami, Brandon just came back to town and delivered you the news that the divorce is ready to get moving," Lucas slipped his fingers into her golden tresses leaning in to kiss her gently, "and naturally that would be an emotional moment for you. I should've taken that into consideration before I did all this…"  
  
  
"No, Lucas tonight was so beautiful. It was magical and perfect, but I'm just so…" she began again as a tiny whimper built up in the back of her throat, "I'm a disaster and I don't know why anyone would want to deal with me at a moment like this."  
  
  
"Hmm, well I can't speak for the rest of Salem, but I'm here because I happen to think you're pretty special. Oh and yeah there's also this minor detail that I keep skipping over which I think all ties back to the fact that I'm head over heels in love with you and I find you truly irresistible," Lucas teased with a hint of a smile watching as she let out a tiny laugh.  
  
  
  
"Which proves that you're insane," Sami grinned shaking her head as he reached out to wipe at her tears once again.  
  
  
  
"I've been called a hell of a lot worse over the years. Come to think of it, the majority of the worst of it came from you," he reached out to her curling his arm around her shoulders, "although I think in this particular situation my insanity suits me."  
  
  
"Oh Lucas," Sami couldn't help but lean into him as his arm remained around her securely. She kept her eyes closed thinking about her encounter with Brandon as she wondered why she couldn't just shake this feeling inside of her that had returned to haunt her from the moment that Brandon had walked back into her life once again. If only he hadn't come to Salem and stepped into her apartment on a night like the one she'd planned for Lucas. If only…  
  
  
  
"You know I was thinking about all of this," Lucas broke through her thoughts, "maybe I was pushing it by jumping the gun with the proposal first thing as I'd thought about dinner first, but well, the truth is I've had a lot on my mind since Brandon's come back into town as it changes everything."  
  
  
"You really think so," Sami lifted her head to meet his concerned eyes.  
  
  
  
He nodded, "Yes, I know so and the truth to the matter is that I know how emotional things are for you as Brandon's a reminder of your past and of the Sami you used to be. Him coming back into town after all this time was bound to stir up old feelings and I understand that completely."  
  
  
"You do?" her eyes widened in surprise watching as he seemed to be in complete sync with her.  
  
  
  
"Of course I do Sami," he nodded continuing to brush away her tears, "as I don't think anyone wouldn't feel something in your situation. I mean hey, when Nicole and I finally divorced I felt like there was this huge chunk of my life I was letting go of and when I reflected upon it, I saw a long history of mistakes leading up to that failure, but while I only saw it as yet another disaster for me, in the long run it turned out to be for the best. I mean hey, after being with Nicole, it taught me that maybe I should start following my heart to where it really was."  
  
  
"You got all of that out of your divorce," she questioned curiously.  
  
  
  
"Not right away, but eventually I was able to step outside the situation and see that it wasn't love with Nicole. I wanted it to be something that it wasn't and ultimately I would've been doing myself a huge disservice in staying married to her," Lucas reached for her hand lacing their fingers together, "I think the same could hold true with you and Brandon. I mean right now I think his being in town is a reminder of what happened when he left before. Given the way that he abandoned you, well I know that you have to be thinking about those mistakes you made, but Sami, those are in the past. Regardless of what was going on then, you're different now. You're an amazing woman and even if Brandon's return is bringing about some emotional reminders of the woman you once were, in a way his being in town is a blessing in disguise."  
  
  
"How do you figure," Sami questioned eyeing him intently.  
  
  
  
"Well, because it gives him the opportunity to see what he missed out on with you, and truth be told I'm a bit eager to see this divorce get on it's way," he cupped her face in his hands, "as I'm more than eager to make you my wife after all this time so that we can be official together. Not that what we have now isn't amazing, but I just can't wait to see the look on everyone's faces when you become Mrs. Lucas Roberts."  
  
  
"Your mother will probably drop dead at the very thought of it," Sami informed him seriously.  
  
  
  
"So then we'll have an EMT on standby at the wedding," Lucas suggested with a simple shrug of his shoulders, "and then eventually she'll get used to the idea and if she doesn't, well that's her problem, not ours."  
  
  
"Now that's wishful thinking on your part," Sami nudged at him offering up a tiny smile.  
  
  
  
"No wishful thinking would be that you and I would find our way beneath the blankets together naked by the time this night is over," Lucas teased reaching out for her as nibbled on her neck teasing his lips over that vulnerable spot that he'd recently rediscovered as his voice dropped to a sensual whisper, "though a dream come true would be your saying yes to being my wife now that you're about to become a free woman again."  
  
  
"Lucas," Sami felt a soft moan spill from her now parted lips as she tipped her head back to accommodate his kisses before she thrust her hand into his chest placing a distance between them, "I don't know why you'd even want to bother with something like that as you know how my luck runs with weddings."  
  
  
"That's because you've been spending all your time with the wrong man," Lucas prompted her stealing another kiss from her lips, "though this time, I think your luck is about to change forever should you say yes."  
  
  
"I'm not even divorced yet and you're already banking on my next walk down the isle," Sami shook her head at him, "I don't know if that's such a good idea."  
  
  
"Hey, I don't want to waste my time in contemplations as I think we've already lost a lot of perfectly wonderful years with one another," he continued sliding his arms around her waist before urging her back onto the bed as his body covered hers. Slowly his hand trailed up over her side as a lazy, sexy smile touched over the corners of his mouth until his finger tips finally connected with her left cheekbone, tracing the contours of it gently, "so what do you say? Will you take a chance on me once again and say you'll brave the uncharted road to matrimony with me at long last?"  
  
  
  
"That's asking a lot out of someone who hasn't exactly had her share of good fortune with romance," Sami started once again feeling a hesitance build up in the pit of her stomach as he held her.  
  
  
  
"That's because you weren't romanced by someone as devoted to you as I am before," he whispered warmly over her lips, his finger tips dropping down over her abdomen as he eased her shirt up just a bit to reveal her silken skin to him before his lips dropped down to her neck once again, "though I'll have you know that should you say yes, I will devote my every waking hour to making each and every last one of your fantasies come true--starting with this very night as I'm suddenly feeling a very profound round of wishful thinking upon us."  
  
  
"Um Lucas," Sami murmured feeling a heat envelope her as his urgent caresses continued, "I don't think what you're doing has anything to do with wishful thinking right about now as I think you're moving into the lines of the downright shameful."  
  
  
"Hmm, well haven't you heard, I have no shame where you're concerned," he vowed claiming her mouth with a desperate flame of desire as Sami threw her arms around giving in to the sensations he was bringing forth inside of her as it was far easier to make love to Lucas like this than face the inner conflict that was torturing her endlessly.  
  
  
  
******************  
  
Feeling Lucas drift off to a sleep beside her, Sami tried to put her mind at ease, but unfortunately after she and Lucas had made love, her mind was still in another place, in another time even though she was certain she'd have one of the most incredible men in the world wrapped around her giving her everything she'd ever wanted. Carefully, she uncurled his arm around her before sliding out of bed and reaching for her robe. She cast one last look over her shoulder at him before leaving the bedroom and entering the living room.   
  
  
  
Step by step, she made her way over to the small desk she'd had in the corner of the room knowing that it had been so very long since she'd been tempted to make her way down this path as she'd vowed to keep this part of her life behind her. Still, as the thought of what was inside the top drawer of the desk haunted her, she took in a slow breath reaching for the drawer and opening it up as she pulled out the golden wedding band that remained within. Silently, she lifted it from the place she'd secured it in at the back of the drawer and as she stood in the moonlight unable to take her eyes off the golden band before her, she slid it on her finger surprised at the ease at which it fit even after all this time. It seemed so right, though at this moment it had to be entirely wrong as this ring was a symbol of her unity with the man she was about to walk away from and never look back upon as she had the new man of her dreams back in bed ready to give her the world.  
  
  
  
"What are you doing Samantha," she cursed herself quickly pushing the ring off of her finger ready to bury it in the drawer when her eyes fell upon another object. Curling her finger over it, she pulled it out into the moonlight realizing it was the bracelet Brandon had given her when he'd promised her an eternity for them to share together. As the memory of that moment in time touched her, Sami felt tears come to her eyes once again as she could almost feel herself back in time--back in that place when being with Brandon and loving him was the most important thing in her life as she'd finally gotten that chance to be with the man who'd touched her heart in such a way that…  
  
  
  
"That it ended badly," she chastised herself hearing the sound of footsteps from behind her as she shuffled to put the bracelet back where it came from. Turning around on her heel, she saw Lucas standing in the doorway watching her groggily.  
  
  
  
"Is something wrong," he questioned scratching his head as a yawn spilled from his lips.  
  
  
  
"No," she shook her head approaching him as she forced a soft smile, "Nothing's wrong at all. I was just feeling restless."  
  
  
"Not because of me I hope," he leaned against the door frame holding his arm out towards her, "though it's late. You should come back to bed."  
  
  
"I will," she promised accepting his hand as he pulled her in towards him, "tell me something Lucas."  
  
  
"Anything," he assured her curling his arm around her waist, "what's on your mind?"  
  
  
"If you and I do this…I mean if we really get married like you want us to, will it be what we both want it to be or are we just setting ourselves up for disaster," Sami questioned unsure of this step she was contemplating with him.  
  
  
  
"There's only one way to find out," he admitted pulling her in for a kiss, "though if I were a betting man, I'd lay odds on the fact that if you said yes, things will probably lead to happily ever after for us down the road."  
  
  
Sami remained silent for a long moment watching the expression that washed over his features as she could feel the sincerity in his tone, the look of love behind his eyes and in that moment when she felt just how deep Lucas believed in this new chance for them, she felt her heart persuaded to grab a hold of that dream as well and as she tipped in towards him pressing her lips to his, she murmured against his mouth, "Yes."  
  
  
"Yes," he nearly gulped breaking away from the kiss as his eyes widened in surprise, "Did you just say yes?"  
  
  
She nodded, "Yes I did. I'll do it--we'll do it Lucas. I'll marry you."  
  
  
"Oh Sami," Lucas hoisted her up in his arms, spinning her around the room before he set her back on her feet once again kissing her tenderly as he thought of all of their dreams they were about to experience with one another over and over again.   
  
  
  
As Sami held onto him, kissing him with the desire that touched at her heart, she just prayed that she'd be able to find it within herself to give up the past and be the kind of woman he deserved in his life as he deserved nothing less. Sure, she'd been reluctant about saying yes as she'd felt herself quite conflicted over the last week, but now none of that mattered as she'd sealed her fate in accepting Lucas's proposal and there would be no turning back. Brandon was the past and Lucas was the future. She was almost certain of that. 


End file.
